pennies

I have been learning how to offer more and more of myself to God. It's hard, it's humbling, it's worth every sacrifice. Today I was reminded of the story of a woman who gave all she had-- which amounted to less than a penny. I feel that way sometimes; I try my hardest to give God something good, but even my very best endeavors amount to barely something. I look at the people around me: there are more talented artists, more intelligent students, better friends, extremely intentional encouragers, women who embody what I think a Godly woman ought to be, prayer warriors, and spiritually disciplined Christians. When I compare my grubby penny to their crisp dollar bills, it is easy to become discouraged. When offering yourself to God, it's crucial to keep your eyes on the prize. Looking at others or looking at self are strategies sure to spoil all efforts, even ones with the best of intentions. God accepts all offerings with equal joy when they are given with a pure heart. So stop critiquing the gifts you have to offer God, all he asks is that you give them.
A while back, I was given an analogy that I have constantly been reminded of over the past few months: sometimes pursuing God is like running (which I can identify with since I'm "training" for a half marathon.) Often when we run, it is sloppy and unrefined (or at least for me), we might stumble or even fall flat on our faces, but we must press on. We will face pain, and we will want to give up. I, personally, have avoided running for a long time because I'm not good at it-- I get out of breath, I look like a fool, I have no conditioning or muscles, and I can't go far before my body politely asks me to throw in the towel. God has been prompting me, though, to take courage. He is asking me to persevere, he is asking me think of Him rather than myself. I have been my biggest obstacle for so long, and I am absolutely tired of it.
"While we are looking at God we do not see ourselves-blessed riddance"-- A.W. Tozer